Are you exercising your power to choose?

by | Business

Are you living in the drama zone?

It’s easy to get angry, to blame others or to play the victim.

It’s easy to take your frustrations out on others to make yourself feel better or to stroke your ego; bullies do that all the time.

It’s easy to jump in and rescue either yourself or others.

When you react in any of those ways you’re caught in the drama triangle.

The drama zone is a comfortable place for us humans.

We’ve observed it in every movie and story we’ve absorbed throughout our life.  We’ve watched people in real life play those key roles.  We’ve played them too.

What’s not so easy is stepping back, taking the time to get curious about which role we’re playing and to consciously step out of the drama triangle.

Stepping out of the drama zone allows you to choose your response rather than knee-jerk reacting.

Stepping out of the drama triangle is a conscious choice to not be the victim, to not play the rescuer and to not be the bully.

Ideally, you’ll choose your response based on your core values and beliefs, aligned with your vision and mission.

Wondering how this works practically?  Here’s an example …



Recently, I noticed my neighbor had once again played the bully, violated my rights and attacked plants in my garden.  To be clear, our local bylaws state you have the right to cut back plants growing in your neighbor’s property to the boundary fence and you are responsible for removing anything you cut off.  These, however, were not intruding into his property at all and he left the rubbish where he cut it.

I could have gotten angry; I could have gone into victim mode.  Honestly, I was pissed off that his butchering had left my plant looking ugly.

Thankfully I stopped myself before I slipped into the drama zone.   I got curious and asked myself some probing questions.

In my reflection, I realized that his actions had violated my values of freedom, justice and kindness.

Freedom is your right to choose; my right to choose what I grow in my garden.

Kindness is treating others as you want to be treated; I’m pretty sure he would not react well if anyone did that to his garden.

Justice is respecting other’s rights and treating them fairly; his actions did neither of those.

There’s power in awareness, in knowing your core values and how they show up in your life.

There’s power in choosing how you respond rather than reacting.

If that’s a power you’d love to learn more about drop me a message or pop on a call with me.

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about the author

Daphne Wells coaches women to design a life and business that feels free by helping to release expectations that don’t resonate and fully embrace what makes them happiest. An advocate for independence and author of Decide – Choose your own path, Daphne helps women find their inner strength and take courageous action all over the world.

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