“You write your life story by the choices you make” 

Helen Mirren

You are a meaning making machine.

Every human is a meaning making machine.  It’s a part of our humanity. 

We create our life through the stories we tell our self about events and people in our life. 

When someone is rude to you, your mind interprets that and makes up a story to give the event meaning for you. 

When someone is kind to you, your mind interprets that and creates a relevant story. 

The stories we create and tell our self, create our life

We make up stories to fit everything we see, hear and experience. 

The stories you make up are how you make sense of the world around you.  Essentially, your stories are your interpretation of what has occurred.   

You are inventing your reality with every story you create. 

“Everyone is necessarily the hero of his own life story” 

John Barth

You create your life through the stories you tell yourself. 

Those stories become who you are. 

Your stories create your beliefs. 

Let’s be honest, in any situation where there are two people involved there are a minimum of three stories possible.  All of these stories will be quite different.   Each person involved creates their own story about what happened.  Then, there is the bare facts which create the third story.

Imagine, if you will, how that multiplies when more than two people are involved in a situation!  And when one person retells their story to another, the story changes in the retelling and then becomes a story the hearer may retell. 

Remember playing Chinese whispers as a child?

“No story is the same to us after a lapse of time” 

George Elliot

The more we tell the same story to our self the more cemented that story becomes in our belief system. 

Our stories shape how we feel and how we behave

Realistically, it’s probably not even true. 

It’s our interpretation of an event.  That’s all it is!

Our stories can become so set in our mind that we believe they are true.  Not only for us, we can believe they are true for everyone. 

That’s when our stories become unhelpful for us. 

When you believe your story is the absolute truth and nothing else is possible. 

When you get caught up in a loop of negative self-talk or thoughts that create anxiety. 

When your story is keeping you trapped. 

“Nothing in your life will change until you make the decision to change.

You can say the right words, you can start to plan

and even actively work towards change but

 until you make the decision nothing will last.”  

Sope Agbelusi


When you feel trapped or realize you’re in a loop you, and you alone, have the power to change your story, to change the meaning-making machine inside of you.  It’s all up to you.  You have the ability to choose. 

You can choose to change your story to one that serves you where you’re at now, rather than where you used to be when you first created your current story. 

How precisely do you do that?  (thanks for asking xx)

Firstly, you identify the story you’re telling yourself that is no longer serving you well.

Secondly, you challenge that story. 

Is it really true? 

Is it still serving you? 

Will you choose to continue telling that story?  

Thirdly, tell yourself a new story

Rewrite your story around that event.   

Tell your new story to yourself over and over again so that it replaces your old story in your belief system. 

Your stories shape what you believe, how you think and how you feel. 

When you change your story, you change how you show up and how you behave. 

You, you have the power to create a new reality for you and your world. 

Why wouldn’t you want to give it a go?




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Daphne Wells, Inspiritress of Can-do-it-ness and founder of Passion for Growth, guides you from unstuck to unstoppable so you can make a difference and make money.

Courageous and high-achieving women business owners and leaders all over the globe hire Daphne so they can grow their businesses without sacrificing themselves in the process.

As a Certified Professional Coach, with a history of birthing and growing small businesses, Daphne has a deep passion for inspiring you to BE your best self in every sphere of your life and business.

Her true magic lies in her ability to clarify, to see possibilities, create ideas and inspire you to take action.

For many years she has represented high-achieving, courageous and successful women in business, business owners, service professionals, coaches, therapists and entrepreneurs; all of whom have big hearts and yearn to make a difference as well as make money.

She lives in the beautiful South Island of New Zealand from where she works with women leaders, business owners and entrepreneurs worldwide.  She’s President of ICF NZ Southern.


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