From 'people-pleaser' to 'on-fire'

I wasted so many years being a ‘people pleaser’.

Doing whatever he asked of me. Allowing him to decide for me. Letting him tell me what to do, where to go, what to pick.

In short, I was letting him walk all over me.

I was lost. Lost in a fog. Drifting.

Like a piece of driftwood on the vast ocean occasionally being washed up on shore or bouncing on the rocky outcrop.

Although I wasn’t very happy about it, I was allowing it to happen. I was permitting it. I was tolerating it.

Looking back, I wonder why I did. As I reflect, I realise it seemed at the time that allowing it to continue appeared easier than fighting it. Easier than standing up for me.

Effectively, I was lost in the mud and mire of keeping others happy. With little or no consideration as to what effect that was having on me.

While it appeared to keep the peace it really wasn’t doing that at all as a storm was brewing inside of me.
Wanting to break free. From the chains that bound me. To cut loose and run.

I continued tolerating it till my need to break free became greater than the need to appease, to keep him happy.

By tolerating that I robbed myself of being in charge of my own life. I wasn’t playing the leading lady in my own life. I was playing second fiddle, the subordinate role. Allowing him to rule over me.

I’d put my dreams on hold for way too long which is why now pursuing my dreams is profoundly important to me. The thought that I wasted so many years pleasing others rather than pursuing my dreams has lit a fire under me that keeps burning hotter and hotter, and keeps me moving forward, towards my dreams each and every moment.

What about you? Are you a people pleaser?

Who is in charge of you?

Are you playing the leading role in your own life?

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Daphne Wells, Certified Professional Coach, Facilitator and founder of Passion for Growth, guides you to grow your business to full bloom while creating a lifestyle you love so you can make a difference and make money. For over 6 years she has represented highly-motivated, courageous and successful women in business, small business owners, coaches, therapists and entrepreneurs. As an ICF credentialed coach, with a history of birthing and growing small businesses, Daphne has a deep passion for inspiring you to recognise and appreciate your magnificence whilst you grow your fabulously successful business. Her true magic lies in empowering you to do it your way. She lives in the beautiful South Island of New Zealand from where she works with women business owners and entrepreneurs worldwide.  She’s President of ICF NZ Southern. Take her FREE quiz ‘Discover the current shape of your self-love’ at