Relationships can indeed be minefields!
So how do we go about not getting blown up in relationships?
The first and most important step is taking responsibility for your role in your relationships – not blaming others and not playing the victim.
Relationships are connections
Relationships come in all shapes and sizes.
Relationship as a word comes to us from Latin and French origins all of which talk about the connection between people or things.
I’m focusing here on relationships as connections between people.
These can be a mix of familial, romantic, intimate, friend, colleague, business, team and casual relationships. Could be your spouse or significant other. Could be your children’s relationship with you or with each other. Could be your employees.
Any relationship is susceptible to challenges that if left unresolved can cause conflict debt. Conflict debt can be more harmful than the conflict itself. This is why understanding relationship dynamics is so powerful.
Relationships are not created equal.
Yep, that’s true – let’s look at why that is true.
Connections and relationships are made up of giving and receiving. This exchange can consist of money, work, effort, material items, love, sex, time, or anything else the people involved choose.
This exchange is often a tripping point in relationships where, in today’s society, we can feel we need to respond with something similar to what we’ve received. Perhaps they buy you a coffee or meal or invite you to their home. Then the natural go-to in our society is to think we need to do the same. That it’s a like for like situation. Truth is, it’s not and was never meant to be.
Relationships are a two-way street
We give and receive different gifts from our relationships. The different people involved in a relationship bring different gifts and challenges to the relationship.
Each person gives differently to each person they’re in a relationship with.
Each person receives differently from every person they’re in a relationship with.
In a family this can trigger jealousy between siblings who perceive their parents to be treating others differently. Some children expect to have the same relationship with their parents as their siblings; potentially that’s a recipe for disaster and their expectations will inevitably be unmet.
Understanding the dynamics of your relationships is freeing and empowering
We are energetically wired to give and receive in relationships with our own personal code. It comprises of your birth code, energy grid and birth card.
You cannot change how you are energetically wired– it’s like your DNA for energy. I calculate this for you using my advanced numerology skills and share my discoveries with you.
One relationship I’ve been working on recently revealed some fascinating insights for Person A who requested the reading to help them understand what they were experiencing in the relationship.
While every relationship has the potential to be positive and thrive, it takes commitment and contribution from all parties to ensure that.
In this case, my calculations of their birth codes showed this was a relationship with potential challenge areas that would continue as long as they didn’t share a similar sense of adventure and have similar intentions. Their energy grids identified the benefits to be gained from a mutual understanding of quite different dominant energies.
My calculations around their birth cards and the gifts they each bring and receive from the relationship showed that there was huge potential for a very positive, growing and mutually satisfying relationship to exist and flourish between these individuals.
Whether that transpires is up to the choices made by both parties in any relationship. Here I reminded Person A that you only have control over the choices you make.
In this case, as reported by Person A, Person B was content to remain in their comfort zone, clearly stuck in the shadow side of both the mutual gift and their personal gift created by the relationship. Both the mutual gift and Person B’s individual gift received from the relationship required Person B to release old ways of thinking and change their mindset; neither of which they appeared able or willing to do.
Was it worth it for Person A?
Person A reported that even though my calculation and reading of their relationship changed nothing in the actual relationship – it changed everything for them. It changed their perception of the situation. It changed their belief that they’d done something wrong.
Person A gained increased understanding of the relationship dynamics and more confidence as to their role and how to show up in the relationship.
As a result of working with me, Person A has created boundaries around their involvement with Person B and what they will and won’t accept from Person B in the future.
Relationships are mirrors
We see different views of ourselves in the different relationships we are part of in this life.
Relationships are where we get to see ourselves. We come to know different pieces of ourselves in different relationships.
In this relationship Person A had taken on a negative view of themself because of the feedback and treatment they’d received from Person B. With my help Person A was able to reframe that and accept they were doing all they could to enable a positive relationship to exist between them – they saw a different view of themselves.
Even though, Person A was doing all they could to grow, expand and evolve in the relationship without the cooperation of Person B the potential for the healthy growth of the relationship was limited.
Relationships are powerful triggers for our growth and evolution
In relationships we experience opportunities and challenges to grow that we’d never experience on our own. These lead us to fulfilling more of our potential.
In all relationships we have choice and free will. We can choose to grow or stay as we are – it’s up to each one of us.
Play your part proactively
Even though you cannot change the potential gifts you bring to a relationship you have total choice over how you choose to give your inborn gifts and receive from the other party in a relationship.
You have total choice!
You get to choose whether you are proactively leaning into your potential and possibility in life or staying stuck in your comfort zone.
It’s totally up to each of us if we choose to remain in the shadow side of our potential gifts or not. We are totally responsible for our choices.
We are, however, here in this lifetime to grow, expand and evolve. Unless we’re doing that, what’s the point of life?
Life without personal growth and expansion is merely existence, and nature tells us that no living organism prospers by merely existing – go find and observe a struggling plant to see proof of that!
Given that relationships have the potential to be minefields and, at the same time, are essential to our life journey of growth, expansion and evolution, the more we understand the dynamics of our relationships the smoother your journey can be.
Message me when you’re ready to have greater understanding and confidence in your relationships. Or hop on over here