Be in control of your out-of-control world

by | Business, Numerology

What can you do when everything around you is spiraling out of control and the thought of you being able to control anything seems an impossibility?

Although you know that the only thing you can truly control in the world is yourself and how you choose to respond to what happens around you, there are times when that proves downright difficult.

Despite the pain of your seeming inability to take control, you struggle to gain the control you seek and you berate yourself over this.

While pain can be helpful as an alert signal, holding your hand on the hot stove for any longer will only serve to burn your hand!



Staying in the negative emotion of feeling as though you can’t do anything adversely affects your ability to make changes to your situation.

Most people experience way too much pain, conflict, friction and stress in life simply because they are responding to life’s challenges negatively.  In other words, they are holding their hand on the hot stove for too long!


The majority of individuals and teams work far too hard and vastly underachieve their potential due to them responding to circumstances and events with a negative perspective.

When you respond negatively you are in reality unknowingly sabotaging both your and your team’s performance and wellbeing.


You, along with everyone else on the planet, are pre-disposed to activate your negative mental muscles rather than your positive mental muscles.  In fact, you’re three times, yes 3 times, more likely to respond negatively rather than positively when challenges arise.

While in times gone by this may have proved beneficial in protecting you from saber-tooth tigers, in today’s world this purpose in obsolete.


Is it possible?

You may be wondering whether, given your natural disposition and life-long habit, it’s possible for you to shift from negative to positive response even in tough challenges and the great news is that, YES, it is.

Through my journey of personal growth and transformation over the past decades I’ve done all the things.  I’ve journaled, I’ve said and written affirmations, I’ve said and written gratitudes, I’ve meditated, and on and on – you get the picture.  You’ve probably done these too.

When what I wanted to attract didn’t land on my lap I’d beat myself up.  If only I’d journaled more.  If only I’d meditated better.  If only I’d used the right affirmations.

Underneath all that was the underlying belief that I wasn’t good enough at mindset practices, I’d not done enough of any of them and I’d obviously not done the right ones or I’d have what I wanted, right?


What does work?

So, Daphne, if doing all the mindset practices doesn’t work, what does?

What works is conditioning your positive mental muscles to increase your mental fitness.

I’ve discovered that being mentally fit is as important as being physically fit.


Being physically fit means you’re in control of your body.

Being mentally fit means you’re in control of your brain.


My mental fitness story

When I was first introduced to mental fitness, I have to admit I was a little suspicious that this was just another tool to add to my already full mindset tool box.  However, as my friend who I respected invited me to join her on the journey I decided to give it a go – I’m forever grateful she asked me to tag along with her, and that I chose to jump right on in.

Practicing mental fitness took mindset out of my head and into my body.  It was easier and took way less effort than all the mindset practices I’d been filling my day with.  Don’t get me wrong, those practices still have a place yet I don’t feel pressured to do oodles and gazillions of them anymore.


Your 3 core muscles

You have mental muscles that are intended to help you thrive regardless of circumstances, even if you’ve not been aware of them up till now.  There are only three core muscles that determine your mental fitness – the saboteur interceptor, the sage and the self-command muscles.

As you consistently train these positive mental muscles your negative bias atrophies and your capacity to respond to life’s challenges positively in preference to negatively increases.

I’ve found that practicing mental fitness makes keeping my energy positive and vibrating at a high frequency seem effortless.  Yes it takes being consistent, yet it doesn’t feel hard or take heaps of time – and definitely takes less effort and time than all the mindset practices that were part of my every day activities.

Increasing my level of mental fitness means I’m able to remain calm, clear headed, stress-free and positive even when in the midst of challenging situations.


How to get started

Mental fitness is part of the work I do with my coaching clients and Extraordinary Leaders Circle members.

I’m delighted to announce doors are open for the first ever mental fitness 8-week immersive experience where you too can learn to be mentally fit.  Places are limited so everyone receives the support they need.

Message me if you’d like more information or choose a time to chat here.



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about the author

Daphne Wells coaches women to design a life and business that feels free by helping to release expectations that don’t resonate and fully embrace what makes them happiest. An advocate for independence and author of Decide – Choose your own path, Daphne helps women find their inner strength and take courageous action all over the world.

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